Kayla Nicole is looking back on a “difficult” period in her life and sharing how embracing therapy got her through it.

The former Los Angeles Lakers in-game reporter reflected on her journey to finding balance with her physical fitness and mental health in conversation with People.

“I genuinely say this and mean this — I don’t like who I am when I don’t work out,” Nicole tells the outlet, revealing that she is a “naturally anxious person” and felt like fitness “saved” her life amid “bouts with depression.” “Just full transparency, I went through this major breakup, major life change, and I had lost a substantial amount of weight within a very short amount of time. I wasn’t sleeping, I wasn’t eating. I was really abusing melatonin to sleep at night,” she says. “It was like I was working out, I was in really great shape, but I felt like s**t and I was sad, and I was having a hard time getting out of bed. It got to the point where I was like, ‘Okay, what else can I possibly do?’ So, I started to go to therapy.”

The fitness influencer recalls how she was still creating fitness content for her social page and receiving “confusing feedback” from her followers. “I’m posting content and people are like, ‘You look so good. Tell us your tricks. You look amazing.’ And I’m like, ‘I’m miserable. I’m miserable. I’m depressed,’” Nicole shares. “My abs were amazing, I had a six-pack. And it was like, ‘I had never felt so bad in my life.’”